I let my fear of dying get the best of me and decided to patiently watch and wait. Until now. Just had my regular round of ultrasound and now my red jar of ideas has doubled in size. Too much estrogen? Too many toxins? Who knows. My attempts at rubbing castor and hemp oil on my bell twice a day, eating leafy greens, staying fit and such aren't working. No magical reiki bullshit is going to solve this. No herbs or magic pills. I need some meds, a sharp knife, and lots of trust and hope that I will recover. Only to feel lighter than before.
Hoping that all that mental pain will go away. Sometimes I say that I never want to go to a doctor, because one day you will find out you have cancer, then slowly get cut apart piece by piece. That's not the kind of life I want. On the other hand, I want the kind of life where I don't spill my lifeblood all over the place. I can mentally empty and fill, chase the cycles of the moon and tides without having a uterus. I am convinced!
Sign me up! I'm just hoping I will still be as fiercely creative as before. Creation is visual beauty. It's taking the most painful parts of your life and regenerating.
Dental alginate might be involved. Yeah! My doctor has considered having one of her Techs make a quick mold of it!
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