Gifted

The spirit of art-making sparked early this holiday season and glowed bright.

During Thanksgiving, I was inducted into the tribe of the Sophie-zombies...what an honor it was to be painted by my gifted niece!

I came back and sank myself right into my first art residency at Vala Art Center in Redmond, Wa.
My objective was to inspire public art-making by creating a"pop-up" activity space where anyone can come experience mold-making, casting, or perhaps paint! Yes, it is the holiday season where felt and silk parade with light,...but why not come clean and leave a bit dirty with a pocket full of ideas!?

 

The highlight of my time at VALA was gift-giving. Anyone that dared to roll up their sleeves and make a mold of their hand were invited. Dental alginate is a safe, easy to use material to make quick molds from. It's body part friendly too, so kids of all ages can play. Curiousity was unbound with just enough holiday creep!

 

One minute cake batter, jello next. Then wax. Once everyone removed their hands from the molds, I poured melted beeswax into the voids. Viola! the wax hardens, molds uncrack, and so does the art! Ah Ha!

Mold-making is a foundation for casting in wax and other materials. My favorite is glass, which is  casted into molds by melting it in a kiln or furnace. I currently teach kiln-casting at Pratt Fine Art Center in Seattle, and am planning on teaching glass casting on the eastside. Contact me if you are interested in taking a class!

There was a buzz happening. There were no visitors, only participants. I really enjoyed watching Redmond Town Center transform from a marketplace to a community space. VALA gave it just the right pulse.

 

As both my residency and 2013 close, I'm excited about growing my local arts community. I deeply appreciate the work of the VALA staff for making this happen. It's so great to see the city of Redmond and businesses supporting local arts programs! I learned just how hungry people are to use their hands and make. The look of wow and wonder when you discover!

Wishing YOU gifted moments in 2014!

Facing Beasts

Surviving: Part Two: Modern Day Minervas

12.15.13

In the midst of facing this fear of dying, there have been two points of clarity that have surfaced.

#1: People get put under everyday, I am not that special. Why not become part of the machine in search of better health?

#2:Victory lies in appreciating my family that have won battles of their own.

Modern day Minervas have gathered around me to offer story and support. I am so grateful and honored to run the strides of life with you.

 

My sister Dawn...always watching over me, aiding and abetting crimes of cake and cover stories. We can't be too far away from each other...even having surgeries a day apart from one another. We've waded through tides together and will both survive this week. Sunning somewhere soon.

 

 

And there she is. My Mama. I remember when she had her hysterectomy. And as she stands watching over me, I look to her. She reminds me that there will be a light at the end, after you have lept through barbed wire hurdles, scraped your knees....get back up and life will ease.

 

My Dad shows me resilience. We didn't see each other a lot when I was growing up, but he was always there to offer his own creative wisdom and show me all the possibilities I have with rich artistic talent running through my blood.

Aunt Nell and Dad. She has shown me her enduring love and support throughout my lifeline and I have grown to really appreciate it as I get older. She makes me not be so scared of cancer since she is a wise fierce survivor of 7 years!

 

Nikki, my ever-inspiring warrior gal! She is my first official glass icon! Every visit I made with her, she was always using her creative spirit to make stained glass art. Her spirit weathers moments where most would collapse. She must be made of anchored steel studs!

 

Now...if only Nikki and Andrea could meet, this would surely be a powerhouse of survival! Andrea is my "new cousin". Related to my hubby Mike, I didn't meet her until a few years ago. I met her parents at a crucial time in my life. I was trapped inside a corporate kennel and needed to be released into the creative wild. They gave me just the perfect words to unlock the gates and follow my dreams. Just look at their daughter! She is a firefighter!! Fighting life's unexpected blazes with total courage!!


XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Surviving: Part One

12.11.13

The date is set for my hysterectomy. Dec 17th. Gulp. "Oh Ok. Yes, I will be there. You made my day." It's nice when you can say that to someone in the healthcare industry. I am still amazed that my Dr. and the OR Coordinator were able to schedule this so quick during the "busy season" of operations. It's scary...my red jar of ideas just wants to keep growing. Let's replace it with, humm....endless chances to make and create without taking a day off to bleed.

My Mom helped me break through this decision. Year after year of trying to manage my asthma that finally left through her hands and my feet...no more drugs, lots of running, and no family stress. So high off Albuterol puffs. The gray-blue low of alone. Slowly growing out of it in stride.

And to think I can be "cured" the next day with a simple surgery. Ah...thanks for the insight Mom! Let's face those years of fear.

I take good care of my body. I'm proud of my shoulders and arms, they are sculpted and strong from all the plaster jobs I did this fall. I'm proud of my blood too. For being bright red and rich in nutrients. Healthy enough to be able to withstand all this. I'm not addicted to anything, except for ideas and the love for them. A long hike followed by a cold hoppy IPA is my ultimate self-indulgence. Can't wait to return to the woods where the steeper the trail, the greater the victory!

....Today is less about the details. Yes, waking up hooked up to noisy machines scares me to the bone. A constant dub-reggae thump would be nice, nothing too high pitched or fast paced, just nice and mellow and moving along...

Fear & Roe v Wade 1973.

 3.8.12 will be a full moon. A solar storm is headed toward Earth supposedly and I hope to see some amazing northern lights I've never seen. Nope. Didn't see'em.

The full moon births a cycle from which to fill, release, then rest.

I have never had to wait for a biopsy before and its driving me a bit crazy. It should be just like anything else. I think cancer is a scary thing that I don't ever want to experience. There is so much to see and do that I do NOT want to miss a beat.

I have a fibroid that is the size of a tangerine, a uterus that is the size of a grapefruit. I love the way we measure ourselves by fruit. Fruit represents nourishment and life. Our womb represents the creation.

Aside from politicians fighting over our fruits, are we intended to choose a different route? Does creation really mean creating human beings? Can we choose to direct our energies to artistic forms instead? 40 years ago it was unheard of...you HAD TO HAVE kids. And even now, I am socially considered "childless" as I have CHOSEN to not have them. And the more time goes by, the more I run into inspiring creative women who have also chosen a different, less traveled path. There are a ton of books on parenting, mothering, childrearing...to live out a life independent of these things means that most of the time the path is unclear, dense shades of gray followed by clear warm bright moments of sun. I am thankful in some ways that whatever I am going through is providing a point of inspiration from which to voice these words.

3.14.2012 Whoosh. Thankfully the endo biopsy came back negative. Negative is always a good word when it comes to cancer or pregnancy as I told a friend. The Doc is still suspicious so she's doing a good job and fear still infuses.

Deciding to remove my uterus is still a tough choice. Should I change myself to fufill someone else's dream instead of my own? How many times a day in our world does this occur? It seems as if our uterus has become a dumping ground for either epoxy resins & BPAs or a stage to live out someone else's dreams or mandates. And internally we as women become suseptible to not listening to our creative voice and living out the life "someone else" wants for us.

I was born January 18, 1973...four days before the Roe vs. Wade decision,  in a time where everyone's eyes were focused and filtered in on a woman's body. Meanwhile, my Mom was getting her wish come true...to have me after having several miscarriages. My Mom's art is children...with every atom in her soul, she has an undying passion for kids. This is when the sensitive part of me emerges. I know how much she has done for me in my life...rescueing me from the depths of asthmatic wheezes. And to think I am deciding to make my life easier by removing my "kid house", part of me thinks I am evil for not giving back to her what she gave to me. I am a bad self-involved wife for not giving my loving husband a *potential* *planned* way to live out his life. I should go to hell for making my life easier and not harder. And those times I took the RU486 pill, I am damned.

What I am not damned for, I am a saint. For supporting my Mom through her own hells and hard times in her life. For listening to her when no one else cared. For playing tough love on my husband to inspire him to find his own healthy talents...pushing him when no one else did. I ditched my safe & secure Microsoft job to free myself and not be a "should have" angry bitter person. 

My Creative Hummmmm continues. It will be me that gets injected with sleep serum and hopefully wakes up to the words "It was not cancer. you are going to be ok" Gotta go make...not babies. Art. Things happen.

Fear & Roe v Wade 1973: Part Two

12.9.2013

I let my fear of dying get the best of me and decided to patiently watch and wait. Until now. Just had my regular round of ultrasound and now my red jar of ideas has doubled in size. Too much estrogen? Too many toxins? Who knows. My attempts at rubbing castor and hemp oil on my bell twice a day, eating leafy greens, staying fit and such aren't working. No magical reiki bullshit is going to solve this. No herbs or magic pills. I need some meds, a sharp knife, and lots of trust and hope that I will recover. Only to feel lighter than before.

Hoping that all that mental pain will go away. Sometimes I say that I never want to go to a doctor, because one day you will find out you have cancer, then slowly get cut apart piece by piece. That's not the kind of life I want. On the other hand, I want the kind of life where I don't spill my lifeblood all over the place. I can mentally empty and fill, chase the cycles of the moon and tides without having a uterus. I am convinced!

Sign me up! I'm just hoping I will still be as fiercely creative as before. Creation is visual beauty. It's taking the most painful parts of your life and regenerating.

Dental alginate might be involved. Yeah! My doctor has considered having one of her Techs make a quick mold of it!